Emma – Page 4

Gamera vs. Emma

Emma was sitting on my love seat and I put her favorite toy beside her so I’d have a portrait of the two of them. She loved this turtle and would sometimes carry it with her around the house. Sometimes she’d run with it, murmuring as she went, I suppose pretending she was on a great hunt.

Or maybe she was just a big Gamera fan.

I didn’t sleep well for months after she died, having recurring bad dreams. Not nightmares in the traditional sense, but the one that occurred most often was me visiting my favorite refuge in my car and I’d end up accidentally driving into the water. The car would slowly fill with water as I drove it around trying to find a place to get back onto solid ground, but I wasn’t worried about drowning, and my steering wheel could somehow direct the car even when floating, but I was worried about ruining both the car and the refuge yet didn’t know what to do. Being in an unfamiliar and deteriorating situation was the common refrain to all the dreams.

It’s not too surprising that I was haunted by such dreams, given that she slowly slipped through our fingers even though no tests identified why she was sick, and she died even though we tried everything we could. The nightmares slowly faded as I came to grips with her death.

I haven’t been out hiking since she died apart from a quick trip to Ridgefield right afterwards, initially from a mix of not feeling up to it emotionally or physically. But as I began to get more sleep, and as time healed wounds, the desire to get back out on the trails slowly returned. Unfortunately some chronic stomach problems also returned, and I even stayed home from work today, but hopefully with the return of cooler weather things will return to normal (it’s been a blistering summer here in Portland and heat is one of the things that can trigger it).

I’ll start planning my fall hiking trip this weekend, so the Tom Bihn travel bag I ordered in December will finally get to come out of its box and be put to good use.

Eyes Wide Open

A picture from a couple of years ago of our cat Emma with eyes wide open, keeping an eye on young Boo who we had adopted three weeks prior. We were just starting to give him limited time into the house at large and Emma was not happy about it, following him around wherever he went. In a year and a half disease would steal Emma from us and we found ourselves introducing another young cat, Trixie, but this time it was Boo (and Sam) who were not happy about the new arrival and we were in for another slow introduction.

I had just gotten my Canon M, their little mirrorless camera, when we got Boo and was taking most of my pet pictures (then and now) with it. While it was a very flawed camera, I got it on a fire sale so there was little financial risk and I treated it as an experiment to see if I would like mirrorless cameras (I did) and with the hope that Canon would get more serious about mirrorless (they didn’t). I loved how I didn’t have to hold the camera to my eye, which not only let me get a lot of shots of the pets I wouldn’t have otherwise, but Emma was also a lot more tolerant of being photographed since she could still see my face.

I’ve been thinking for a while now about moving to a mirrorless system that would better fit my needs, or possibly going to a larger full-frame sensor, and this morning two pretty groundbreaking cameras got announced that would allow me to do both with one camera, and best of all each offers built-in image stabilization. I haven’t had much time to read up on them and, unlike my little M, either would require a massive investment in a camera I haven’t made since my first digital camera.

Right before I left for work Leica announced the Q, a gorgeous little fixed lens camera. I’ve never shot with anything as wide as its 28mm lens, nor anything as fast as it’s f/1.7 lens, but at first glance a lot of thought went into its design. I’ve always wanted to own a Leica but never have, much like in cars I’ve always wanted a Volvo, Mazda, or Alfa Romeo. This one has my interest, but on the other hand, I’m not sure I’d use it enough to justify its price tag.

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While I was at work Sony announced their latest interchangeable lens full-frame camera, the A7R II. While it had been rumored for a while, they upgraded more from the original A7R than I was expecting (a camera that intrigued me but had too many foibles to seriously tempt me). This one seems to have fixed many of my issues with the previous model, and rather curiously, there are reports that Sony was demonstrating that with an adapter you could attach Canon lenses and still get autofocus. Not sure how well it would work, but if I could use my existing lenses with it …

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Don’t Make Eye Contact! Don’t Look Her in the Eyes!

A picture from a couple of years ago when we were starting Boo on his introduction to the rest of the family after a couple of weeks in isolation. Emma (the black cat) was stalking Boo everywhere as he explored the house, and eventually he went under the baker’s rack in the kitchen for a little timeout. He was avoiding making eye contact with Emma and was clearly getting a little overwhelmed so we continued his introduction slowly, a few hours each day until everyone was comfortable.

We Were Doing OK, Weren’t We?

When I got up off my couch I had to laugh when I saw the expression on Emma’s face. Her bewildered expression might have been explained by her wondering why we had adopted young Boo and brought such change into her life, but in reality she was reacting to the heat of a summer night. The picture meant a lot to me at the time, as she had hung out with me more and more that year and, rather than retreat to the cooler basement, she chose to stay by my side instead.

I’ve been sitting on this picture for a while, rather than posting it, as it reminded me too much of her suffering at the end of her life and the pain and frustration of not being able to save her. As time passes, though, more and more it’s gone back to reminding me of the bond I shared with my sweet Em.

Sam’s Shadow Comes to Life …

… and boy is it angry!

Sam’s “shadow” was of course Emma, who came over when she saw I was photographing him. Emma, the cat who hated to be photographed, but photobombed every picture she could.

One of My Favorite Pictures of Em

It pains me to think of all the old blog posts that are offline because I love going back and reading the stories, especially of the pets. I have thought of a way I could bring them back, probably should have done it a year ago, but it would cost a little bit of money and time, not sure if I’ll do it. In the meantime I was re-editing this picture of Emma after she knocked over the Christmas tree so that I could put the original post back online and laughed out loud when I read the story, I remembered most of it but had forgotten that as I was trying to get the tree upright, she jumped back into it.

The picture seems to suggest a pride in her handiwork, but that wasn’t Emma, she was walking over to greet me as she often did when I tried to take her picture. She wasn’t a mischievous cat, she just loved that tree. Sometimes too much.

Miss you Em.

The Best of Times

Boo is clearly on the mend, he’s eating his normal meals and was pretty playful tonight, Sam even got in on the action for a bit. They’re both still a little high strung, especially Boo, so when we start their introduction to Trixie we’ll take it slowly. Our dog Ellie met her tonight for a few minutes but we didn’t push it, Ellie was a little wound up.

This picture is from September 2013, when all the pets were cuddled up around me. Boo, having been accepted by the older cats, was sprawled out in my lap with his arms around me. Emma slept down by my feet with Sam using her as a pillow. Ellie was curled up beside me, you can see a couple of her paws at the edge of the frame. Laying quietly covered in pets, these are my happiest times.

Sam is curled up in my lap at the moment while Ellie is snoring in her dog bed. My wife is upstairs with Trixie, Boo I think is in one of the cat beds just around the corner. What joy these little creatures bring into our lives.

Boo vs. Emma

I thought that when we adopted our dog Ellie in 2009 it would be our most difficult introduction, as our three cats were not used to dogs, but it turned out to be our easiest. Our toughest would be in July of 2013 when we adopted a shy little kitten we named Boo. When we met he was so terrified he literally shook so we took his introduction to the other pets even slower than normal, keeping him isolated for a couple of weeks, then slowly allowing him more and more time in the house at large.

With the slow introduction Boo gained confidence each day, which was fortunate, as we fell in love with the little black-and-white cat rather quickly. But one hurdle remained: Emma.

I spent most of that first month with Emma while my wife was with Boo, as Em was not happy with the arrival of the little fellow. Em had become my little buddy after Scout died early in the year and that bond helped when we started giving Boo short stints in the house at large. She’d follow him around everywhere he went, staring him down, and hissing if he got too close. You can see her in the background of the picture above, watching Boo from the base of the cat tree, while he plays with one of her beloved strings.

We’d let Boo out until you could see on his face that he was getting a little overwhelmed, and then we’d take him back into his secluded room where he felt safe and then Emma (and to a lesser extent Sam) could feel comfortable in their space too. A few days later and she was still staring him down, while he was mostly trying to avoid eye contact, but desperate too to fit in. When it was time for Boo to go back to his room, I’d shower Emma with as much attention as she could tolerate, and she relaxed a bit more each day.

A few days after the above staredown Boo and Emma were sleeping on my couch when Boo came in and nestled in between them, and I was delighted to see Emma not get up. By the end of August, a few weeks after Boo was given full run of the house, I came into my office and saw Boo using Emma as a pillow. She had long let Sam do this but it was a first for the brave little Boo (I apologize for cutting off her foot at the edge of the frame, but I was shooting quickly while trying not to wake her).

But my favorite moment of their introduction was in October when Emma had been sleeping beside my legs as she so often did. Boo came in and at first just curled up beside her, then he got a little more bold and put his head on her. But I was startled when he suddenly put his arms around her and just buried his head in her stomach. This woke her up and I was sure she was going to get up and go into the other room, but instead she stretched her arms down his back and cradled him. He turned his head for a little air and she spooned him and they fell asleep together.

That was our Em.

Emma’s Third & Final Home

We adopted Sam and Emma shortly before Christmas in 2007, two weeks after our cat Templeton died. We were her third home, her previous family had adopted her as a kitten but a year later felt they had too many cats and had been unable to find a home for her. I took this picture of Emma two days later on Christmas Eve after she joined Sam in quarantine in our guest bedroom. Initially we kept them in separate rooms until their health tests came back, but Emma was pretty miserable in isolation and it was a relief when she could join her new little brother and they could keep each other company while still being kept separate from our cat Scout.

With Templeton and Scout, my heart was open to loving a new cat before it was finished breaking for the departed one, and so it is with Emma. We went to the Oregon Humane Society this morning to look at some of the younger cats, as Boo could use a playmate. The young kittens got adopted right before we got there but we had a chance to meet a sweet young cat that we are considering, though we have some concerns she might be a bit too shy. An outgoing young cat came up for adoption after we were there that we will meet in the morning, but perhaps she will be too much for Boo (and especially Sam).

It’s so hard to know. After all Boo was a terrified little thing who shook like a leaf when we met him, yet you’d never know it now by watching the confident little fellow who is taking over the household, despite being the youngest by far.

There’s no rush. Whoever we adopt will come to a good home, we just hope it’s the right one.

A Game of Strings

One of my favorite pictures of Emma, taken last summer. We discovered early on that she loved playing with strings, when she was young if you sat on the ground and dragged an old shoelace around you, she’d circle you until she was exhausted. Later she’d learn to predict your actions and try and jump over you to cut the string off at the pass. Throughout her life you’d find her sitting by one of her shoelaces, not wanting to miss out on the chance at a game of string.

String got more complicated when we adopted Boo as he also loved to chase them but with the exuberance of a young cat, something Emma didn’t always appreciate. I’d sometimes play with both of them, a shoelace in one hand for Emma and a shoelace in the other for Boo. If two-handed string was an Olympic event the gold would have been ours. Eventually though Boo would want to play with whatever string his big sister was playing with, so it was fortunate they learned to play together.

In the picture Emma is sitting at the entrance to my office, at the end of her life this is where she chose to hang out most of the time (not in the doorway, though, just a bit over to the left). She didn’t have the energy to play string towards the end, a clear sign of how sick she was getting. Sometimes she’d chew on it if you laid it across her paws, especially a ribbon from one of the Christmas presents.

When I look at the picture I’m struck by how lovely she was and the beautiful life we lost. But I’m reminded too, of the beautiful life we shared.